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Los Cabritos |
8-5 |
Dumpsters Part Troix FC |
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Dan
'The Length' Clifton 2 |
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John
'School-Night' Dunn 2 |
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Tim
'Anal Bead' Preston |
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Well the day didn’t
start well for the Dumpsters with the late withdrawal of Mr Taylor Aka
UTT at 2.59pm with an excuse, and I quote: "Alright lads. Bad news. Im
still in Manchester so I wont be back in time. I've also got the shits
and am absolute wreck after a night out in Mac with fee". First of many
of excuses there from UTT. Lol, however lets analyse the text message as
if you look closer you can find 3 excuses.. 1st - I'm in Manchester; 2nd
- I've got the shits; 3rd - blaming fee for being out the night before a
big game.. Good going. Tune in next week for UTT's column of excuses.
The convoy of dibble aka allergies, Dell Length Clifton, Spal, Ferret
aka Anal Bead and Fraggle made their way to the ground which NO-ONE
knew the location of. Because of UTT's late withdrawal Not on a School
Night John and Psycho Dan had to make their own way to the ground via
train, but the train wasn’t running and had to catch a taxi. Shows good
organisation especially as half the team was hung-over from 24 hours
binging the night before. Go Dumpsters. Right, to the football. With the
Pitch Invasion prediction of the Dumpsters loosing 6-3 we felt
optimistic..
First Half
The game didn’t start well with the dumpsters going 2-0,
down but the players started to get over their butterflies and responded
with goals from John School Night and then a rasper from Dell using his
length to good effect to draw it level. Ferret Anal Bead made it 3-2
and the dumpsters were in the clouds but were soon knocked back down as
the it was drawn level at 3-3 at half time. Fraggle aka Darias
Henderson, who didn’t score a goal for 30 games for Watford
despite being a striker, had a few good efforts if we were playing
rugby, and spal huffed and puffed but didn’t blow any houses down.
During the first half Psycho Dan had made some amazing saves thanks to
the kickers mittens which had kept us in it.
Second Half
The Dumpsters came out blazing by taking the lead for a
second time with John School Night and Ferret Anal Bead both claiming
the goal. Who cares I didn’t score it! Once again the dumpsters were
pegged back to 4-4 and fitness and some very poor finishing from Myself
aka Allergies was starting to take it's toll on the team. Noteably after
doing all the hard work by going round 10 people aka Allergies once
again got a nose bleed panicked in front of goal and missed. Further
blunders from myself such as almost falling over in front of goal. I
think I need Glen Hoddle's Psychic to solve my issues in front of goal.
Lol. With spal still huffing and puffing the dumpsters found themselves
conceding 3 goals in a minute with notably their 6th goal being a 60
yard effort from one of their players, with psycho Dan seeming to want
to have a chat with the subs, only to find the ball in the back of the
net. Dell Length Clifton then got his schlong out again and hit another
rasper into the top corner but it was too little too late with the
Dumpsters Part Troix losing their first game 8-5.
Managers Review
"I thought we done really well and worked very hard but it was our
fitness that cost us in the end. I think we're going to be real
competition in this league and if we win all our games I think we have a
chance of winning it"
To The Pub
Which one? With half of Wandsworth's pubs being shut down we found the
famous Spread Eagle, or something like that, which should also be shut
down where we analysed what happened. Man of the Match votes were
cast and the resounding winner was Dan psycho Sykes for his suburb goal
keeping and having to wear mittens.
We chatted about the game and we came to the conclusion that we played
well but all agreed that the TRUE Dick of the Day had to go to UTT.
MD
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