Dumpsters Part Troix FC

4-6

 Frankie's Italian Bar & Grill
Alex 'Spal' Sutton 2  
Dan 'The Length' Clifton  
John 'School-Night' Dunn  
 
 
 
 
 
 

3

 Alex Sutton
aka Spal
Awarded to Spal for scoring a brace. The only highlight in an otherwise dire performance from the whole side. Spal is aiming for top spot in the scoring stakes this term, and more performances like this can only help.
 
 
 

9

 Martin Dibble
aka Allergies
Awarded to Allergies for a total lack of preparation, finally deciding on tactics for the game at the pub, long after the final whistle had blown. The gaffer surely can't have long left if results continue like this.
 
 
 

#

 Name Goals Cards
3 Alex 'Spal' Sutton  
4 Tim 'Ferret' Preston    
5 Richard 'Fraggle' Cragg    
6 Dan 'The Length' Clifton  
7 John 'School-Night' Dunn  
8 Felix 'Pussy' Baker    
9 Martin 'Allergies' Dibble    
11 Alistair 'UTT' Taylor    
 
 
     
 
  Well how can you describe this performance? It wasn’t a game of two halves, we weren't really outclassed, we were just more DUMP than our opponents. This week only 7 of the team were hung-over, with Fraggle (aka Ade Akinbiyi) not drinking the night before so he could be fresh to bang the goals in, so it was once again looking promising for the organised outfit of the Dumpsters!!! Looking at the opposition I was thinking the W3 points were in the bag. They had a squad of 6 with a biker in goal and Diego marodona coming back from retirement. e had 8 players with Felix 'Pussy Baker' and Alistair 'UTT' Taylor making their debuts. Utilise our advantage I thought. How wrong I was.

First Half
The game started in very cagey fashion, with both sides not willing to do anything out of the ordinary and it was only a wicked deflected shot that gave our opponents the lead. During the first half John 'School Night' Dunn made some good saves but was beaten once again and we were 2-0 down. During the first half everyone seemed to gain the Dumpsters curse - Don't knowing how to shoot at goal. With a complete DUMPSTER in their goal we should have been racking the goals in but with the tamest of shots, that a 4 year old could produce, it wasn't looking good. Luckily Dan 'The Length' Clifton got his schlong out again and made 2-1 before half time.
  
Second Half
Martin 'Allergies' Dibble swapped with John 'School Night' Dunn in goal and what a decision that was as the Dumpsters suddenly found themselves 5-1 down. Obviously all the goals were in the top corner and Allergies couldn’t get near them. Elsewhere UTT was trying to think of an excuse as to why he hadn't scored a goal and fraggle was once again scoring 3 points in rugby.. Fraggle its FOOTBALL! Luckily Alex 'Spal' Sutton huffed and puffed and blew a couple of holes in the back of the net to make it 5-3. There was also industrious running from Anal Ferret or should I say industrious abuse to the ref, the team, the opponents. By the end of the game he had enough of everyone NOT listening to him so he abused himself. The Dumpsters once again fell 6-3 behind and only a consolation goal From John 'School Night' Dunn brought the game to a close with a disappointing 6-4 defeat.
  
Managers Review
"We were Dump!"
  
To The Pub
Once again half the team turned up at the Pub with NO money, so a round of tap waters were ordered. Man of the Match was awarded to Alex Spal Sutton for his wonder strikes and it was worked out that Dick of the Day had to go to myself for basically doing no organising whatsoever as a manager. Boots.
MD