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Dumpsters Part Troix FC |
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Kyriazis FC |
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An absolutely
shocking day for the Dumpsters as the team hit an all-time low. Buoyed
by last weeks massive victory and the clubs current top of the table
status, the players turned out in force, with only last season's top
scorer Felix 'Pussy' Baker missing. He was otherwise engaged, out for
dinner with two of Hollywood's brightest stars -
Brenda Fricker and
Eddie Bracken, who played 'Central Park Pigeon Woman' and 'Owner of
Duncan's Toy Chest' in
blockbuster movie
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York.
However, despite the
impressive turnout, it was to be a truly shameful occasion for The
Dumpsters.
First Half
The Dumpsters decided to employ an unusual tactic of playing their
most prolific strikers in defence, with all-time top scorer Alex 'Spal' Sutton and third
place man from the same list, Dan 'The Length' Clifton, installed as the defensive partnership.
Tim 'I love Anal-Beads' Preston was put in midfield, with 0.2 goal per game man Richard 'Fraggle' Cragg up front.
Needless to say, these bizarre tactics did not pay off.
Things started in fairly
subdued fashion, the game being played at a snails pace, and for the
first ten minutes or so there was very little action at either end other
than the occasional long shot from Kyriazis, which failed to trouble
Martin 'Allergies' Dibble in the Dumpsters goal. However, little was
being created by The Dumpsters, and this was to prove their downfall.
The only opportunities of note being some wayward shooting from The
Length, and couple of mazy dribbles from substitute Alistair 'UTT'
Taylor.
Ten minutes into the game and the eadlock was broken, a
precise shot from distance just making it past the fingers tips of the
flailing Allergies. Dumpsters heads immediately dropped, and as the half
wore on the work rate plummeted. Eventually the team collapsed to a 4-0
deficit at half time, one of goals courtesy of a calamitous error from
John 'School-Night-Sub-Well' Dunn.
Second Half
Sacked manager Allergies demanded a reshuffle at half time,
bringing himself out of goal to be replaced by Fraggle. However the
fairly mediocre words of motivation from the manager had very little
impact and little changed after the break. It was one way traffic, with
shots raining in on the helpless Fraggle, and goals flying in left right
and centre.
Every Dumpsters attack left players stranded in
midfield, and the levels of tracking back hit an all time low. It was
little better when the team was in possession, a crippling lack of
movement meant the Dumpsters were never likely to get back into the
game, the only consolation being an own goal from Kyriazis.
Sacked Managers Review
"I hate turning up and losing every week, it just isn't fun.
Have I got to play squash tomorrow? Bollocks."
To The Pub
Sacked Manager Martin 'Allergies' Dibble refused to allow a trip to
Dixies, and the team was driven home in disgrace, with Allergies barely
able to contain his rage and Fraggle deeply troubled by the manager's
mental state
DC
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