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Dumpsters Part Troix FC |
8-2 |
Clapham Hotspur |
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Felix 'Pussy' Baker 3 |
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Alex 'Spal' Sutton 2 |
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Martin 'Allergies' Dibble 2 |
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Alistair 'UTT' Taylor |
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Despite losing narrowly in the opening game of the
season The Dumpsters were in semi-confident mood coming into Sunday’s
game, after a much improved display last week, let down only by a few
late lapses in concentration. The Dumpsters had a fairly strong line up
to choose from, with only Tim ‘Ferret’ Preston, and the apparently
sleeping John ‘Schoolnight’ Dunn missing.
With unknown opposition awaiting them, no-one knew what to expect, but
the day took an immediate downturn as it was pointed out by a passing
Australian that the team coach had a flat tire. Desperate scenes ensued
as manager Allergies tried to rescue the situation using an electric
pump, more often seen inflating his blow-up dolls of an evening. With
Taylor waiting on his own at the ground the coach was finally patched
up, and five Dumpsters plus a rogue fan crammed into it’s capacious
interior.
Although the day had started poorly, things were to take a turn for the
better, on a triumphant day for The Dumpsters.
First Half
Things started solidly for
the team on what was to be a memorable day, with keeper Richard
‘Fraggle’ Cragg rarely troubled in the opening stages and the team
seeing plenty of possession. The opening goal wasn’t long in coming,
Martin ‘Allergies’ Dibble forcing the ball home after a tussle with the
odd-looking keeper, before Felix ‘Pussy’ Baker extending the lead with a
rasping drive into the bottom corner.
Poacher extraordinaire Alex ‘Spal’ Sutton then entered the fray, and
scored with his very first touch of the game, slotted home from close
range at the far post to send the Dumpsters into a 3-0 lead. Clapham
Hotspur then managed to get a goal back after an extended spell of
corner-ridden pressure finally found a way through the solid-looking
Dumpsters defence.
The Dumpsters didn’t let the setback get them down though, with Alistair
‘UTT’ Taylor’s mazy dribbling causing the opposition serious headaches.
He was rewarded with a goal for his troubles, before Allergies and Pussy
notched their second goals of the game, putting the Dumpsters into a
comfortable 6-1 lead at half time.
Second Half
Clapham Hotspur swapped goalkeeper at half time, with the slightly
strange character leaving the sticks and coming out on pitch. He failed
to make an impact though in a strangely subdued second half. The
Dumpsters usual poor fitness levels were no doubt to blame, as they
scored only two further goals after the break. Felix ‘Pussy’ Baker
slotted home to complete his hat-trick, a feat that Martin ‘Allergies’
Dibble was unable to match, spurning several glorious chances to
complete his treble.
The hapless opposition did manage to get a further consolation goal late
on, before the Dumpsters rounded things off in spectacular fashion,
Pussy attempting an outrageous overhead kick from the half way line
which fell perfectly to the feet of the lurking Spal at the far post,
who tapped in in ultra-casual fashion to put the icing on the cake and
round off a fabulous day for the Dumpsters.
Sacked Managers Review
"TBC"
To The Pub
After the game Pussy was awarded Man of the Match for his sparkling
hat-trick and amazing assist, with Dick of the Day remaining undecided
after such a superlative performance. The team piled back into the team
coach and headed home, but with hangovers still raging and revising to
be done Dixies was skipped, the satisfaction of victory more than enough
for The Dumpsters.
DC |
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